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Lickmyapp requires no download and encourages users to improve their oral skills with a choice of three different games, you can flick a light switch on and off, turn a crank or go freestyle – where you bounce a beach ball. You also have to remember to wrap your phone for protection first because it’s supposedly crawling with bacteria, yuck.

Platewave bills itself as “the social network for UK drivers” and lets you message anyone, as long as you’ve got their vehicle registration number.

Apparently boasting hundreds of members at universities across the UK, skint students can sign up to be “sugar babies” to either “sugar mamas” or “sugar daddies”.

In exchange for a relationship (80% of Seeking Arrangement dates involve sex, but the founder Brandon Wade denies it’s a form of prostitution), cash-strapped sugar babies are lavished with gifts and cash allowances which average at £5,000 a month. If you have trouble with giving out satisfying oral sex, you should probably lick your phone instead.

Pure is an app for those that want to enjoy Tinder but are too embarrassed or shy to put themselves out there.